Feb 15, 2005

"You look better than a ten inch dick"

Oh where to begin, where to begin...

Maybe I'll let Ebert start us off:

BY ROGER EBERT September 22 1995
sleazefest like"Showgirls"
promises the inside dope on Las Vegas, stripping,hooking and all that stuff. What"Showgirls" delivers, however, seems basically to be Joe Eszterhas' masturbatory fantasies."

... "like Showgirls"? You mean there are more "like Showgirls"?

I think not.

This is the first time in my life, where the movie ended and I couldn't decide if it was the best movie ever made or the worst movie ever made. I would like to think that Joe Eszterhas (screenwriter) and director Paul Verhoeven,had their tongues firmly planted in cheek through the entire production, because if that was the case, this film is a work of absolute post-modern genius. Sadly I fear this isn't the case, although we had quite a debate about this at the party last night.

The guests assembled around 7:30. There were plenty of snacks and drink, so we took a while talking and getting ourselves assembled around the TV while we waited for one more guest to arrive (there ended up being 11 of us). There were a couple of games of "pin the pasties on the stripper", and we all laughed at the instructions that admonished us in bold capital letters to take a shot of our favorite NON ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE before beginning the game.

When everyone was present, G put in the DVD, and we all waited with bated breath for the film to start.... except it didn't. The DVD was fucked up and wouldn't play at all, in the computer or in the DVD player.

Its pretty hard to ruin an evening when there is so much chocolate and chip snacks and lovely scotch to drink. Anyway, someone volunteered to go to a video store and rent a copy of the film so by 9 pm the movie was underway.

We played the drinking game rather informally in that everyone had to work today and my friends aren't really the drinking game sort of folks. So when we remembered, or noticed the trigger, we took a sip from our drinks. The game goes like this: You drink when anyone says "Darlin'" or "Dance". When anyone falls down, or whenever Nomi (the lead character played by Elizabeth Berkely) hits something (a person, a car, a slot machine, the beaded curtains in her trailer...her own ass... you get the idea). But we also drank in between, and would sometimes toast a particularly retarded or hilarious (or most likely both) scene.

Contrary to what Chris Rock says, in the world of Showgirls, there really IS sex in the champagne room. Of a more or less simulated variety. Let me put is this way, one of the lines in the movie in reference to the lap-dance is, "everyone in America is a gynecologist" (at which I sprayed popcorn all over the person sitting next to me)

There was some alternative way to play the game that we didn't investigate because it required taking off items of clothing, and the disappointing thing about the special edition not working in the DVD player, is that we didn't get to watch the lapdance tutorial.

C'est la vie.

Apparently Pole Dancing is the latest fitness craze. Perhaps that's something to check out!


Brian said...

Sounds like a good time. I don't think much of anything could get me to watch that movie again, though, although the supreme hotness of Gina Gershon could tip the scales.

Bella_by_Barlight said...

She is very hot... but she has kind of big teeth doesn't she? I never noticed that before.

It was a very stupid and very fun evening. (Although I don't think I could stand to watch it again either)