May 31, 2005
There's something wrong with the way I swallow:
I know you were probably looking forward to something more exciting than what follows. Sorry (not) to disappoint you.
Seriously, how often do you inhale pieces of food? I know this happens to everyone every once in a while, but it seems to happen to me a lot and I wonder why. I don't eat particularly quickly or voraciously. I chew my food, thank you very much. But it seems every month or two at the most, I inhale a piece of food instead of swallowing it and practically choke myself to death.
Today for example, I inhaled a piece or pieces of the veg. and udon noodle dish I was eating. I suspect it was a piece of cabbage, but maybe it was a bit of noodle or mushroom. Anyway, I coughed and I suppose I dislodged whatever it was, I mean, I must have right? Because otherwise I assume I would be choking to death by now. But I can't help but feel like there's something still in there and of course all this coughing is just making me feel asthmatic which also feels like having a chunk of noodle or cabbage stuck in your windpipe.
I've resorted to drinking this hideous concoction I made up to help loosen my chest when I have bronchitis: Cayenne pepper tea with ginger and honey. Drink it hot and you're almost guaranteed a loose productive cough within half an hour. Of course, your tastebuds might never recover. And depending upon your GI tract, your bowels might not either.
Of course this might not help and I might die having choked on a piece of sautéd cabbage. Which is a pretty shitty way to go when you think about it. Although, that's also what I thought when a bear tried to get in my tent years ago while I was on a camping trip. And in retrospect that would have been, if not more fitting, less embarrassing.