Jul 26, 2005
MOVING RIGHT ALONG...
Hello from the center of the vortex.
Tonight's menu includes Gazpacho and tortilla chips with fresh cut salsa. Après sunset, roast beast will be served à la maison. Right now our concierge is serving Diet Pepsi in the lounge, but in half an hour it will be beer o’clock. We have a special on Tuborg but I recommend the Pilsner Urquell - it comes in a larger can. For the comfort of our other guests, please refrain from throwing books across the room. For your convenience, a basket has been provided for the disposal of bad ideas, run on sentences, dangling modifiers and of course bullshit, should you have any you would like to unburden yourself of. Please feel free to use the complimentary matches and lighter fluid only near one of our many exits. We expect to arrive at our destination on schedule, but should there by any delays, your captain will give you ample notice so that you may hyperventilate and/or vomit as you see fit. Our expected arrival time remains August 4th 2005.
Thank you and enjoy your flight.