Jul 19, 2005

Queen of the Universe

Today I stopped at the mall on the way home. I'm in love with this really comfy lime green bra I bought a month or two ago, and I wanted the same one but ... come on, LIME GREEN!!!! Fingers crossed I went to the brassiere store to get the same only less garish. Well, they didn't have. But I did get a pink bra (what happened to plain old white?) that has more features than a new car. It is actually convertible and came with a little pink mesh sac full of extra strap things and an instruction booklet. AN INSTRUCTION BOOKLET! FOR A BRA! It also came with this really weird padding stuff that I was happy to take out. In the olden days when I wanted padding it used to be made out of foam. Nowadays bra padding is made out of some kinda silicon. Just like real fake boobs!


So I got a pink bra, that wasn't the point of this post though. This mall is your quintessential suburban soccer mom mall. It's an estrogen palace where women with permed hair and babies in strollers can shop without feeling self conscious about their middle-age spread, so the good looking man walking down the parallel staircase to me... well he kind of stood out. But that isn't the point of the story either. The point of this story is that at the bottom of the stairs, that man came up beside me and said, "You are a Kee-yoo-tee!"

Well, I had to laugh really. Because he was pretty cute himself and I think the last time I was paid a compliment like that by a stranger, the stranger looked and smelled like he had just been scraped off a bar-room floor. The time before that I was 21 and the stranger was right. I was cute.

It being rude not to accept a compliment I said, "thank you!" I really meant that thank you too. Sincerely and from the deepest bloodiest bit of my heart. Because those compliments that made you feel gross and awkward and 14, indifferent at 21, and mildly flattered at 29, make you feel like the queen of the fucking universe for about ten hours when you're over 35. Yes. It's true.

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